UPPERHAND BURGERS

If you wrote down some words to describe your local burger joint, I’d bet a toasted brioche bun that “bubble tea”, “peking duck” and “jackfruit” wouldn’t make your list. Yet these are some of the essential elements at the heart of fresh-faced Swanbourne patty-slinger, Upperhand Burgers.

In fact, let’s start with the patties. Forget oily discs of chalky mince. Upperhand’s beef is coarse, lovingly flattened into adventurous shapes, and crispy-edged. Add a potato roll, a brittle frond of lettuce, tomato, onion, a slippery length of pickle and “spread” – whatever that is – and you’ve got the Handburger ($12.5). Despite the blindingly obvious reference, I prefer to think this burger is so-named because it fits so snugly in your palm and is a genuine pleasure to hold. This is largely courtesy of the soft white potato roll, which, sensing its true role as the platform upon which the burger elements are organized, rather than a key flavour, is politely compact and stays out of the way. Cheers, you will say to the potato roll. No-one wants a burger of which the first four bites are just dry bun.

The American stylings of the traditional burgers here are unmissable, and that’s a good thing. Upperhand co-owner Craig Mangini spent a year travelling around the USA eating burgers in the noble pursuit of “research”, nothing more, and if there’s one thing America does pretty well it’s the humble hammy. But Upperhand is more foreign exchange student than redneck. The “TFC Burger” introduces Taiwanese Fried Chicken to the party, in another beautifully holdable creation which co-stars slaw, cheese and Taiwanese dredge. This is a beaut bird – nothing oily or greasy about it, and the slaw and cheese make for an interesting, not too heavy flavour. Also on board is Peking duck fries ($16) - and if those three words in that order don’t kinda fucking excite you then I don’t know what will. A basket of golden sticks, topped with tender shredded duck, lathered in unctuous, sour Peking sauce and finished with shallots. This thing is the best American-Chinese collaboration since Lucy Lui.

Just when you thought the surprises would end with the presence of duck in a burger joint, you’d notice the menu also lists things like XO green beans topped with pork mince or fried tofu ($12) and fried ice cream ($8). Salt and pepper tofu nuggets ($12) come out as bite-sized cubes of tofu, disguised in a crisp salt and pepper batter.  They share a modest cardboard home with a container of orange vegan mayo, which despite the naïve expectation of being some sort of jazzed-up nut milk, is actually appropriately thick and zingy. Well played, vegans.

My one minor gripe here is semantics based: I’m curious as to why it’s expressly “vegan mayo” – can’t it just be mayo that happens to be vegan-friendly? Anyway, Upperhand also features pimp-my-burger style offerings such as “beast”, where your burger is cooked in mustard and comes with caramelized onion and extra spread ‘n cheese, or “loco”, which is the addition of chili, sriracha sauce and guacamole to your roll.  Of course, you can also add nitrate-free bacon, or a fried egg, or double meat, or vegan spread, or get your burger in a lettuce leaf instead of a potato roll. Although this paragraph reads a bit like the world’s worst “two truths and a lie” icebreaker, it’s 100% fib-free.

But perhaps the most surprising thing about Upperhand is that alternative diets are extremely well catered for; every burger on the menu becomes instantaneously gluten-free when ordered on a gluten free bun; and there are more vegetarian and vegan burgers than not – including tempura snapper, vegan tofu, pulled bbq jackfruit and satay tempeh.

And last but not least, gone is the ubiquitous milkshake; here at Upperhand, bubble tea is the beverage de rigeur. The usual suspects are present – fruit or milk tea, sago, jellies, popping pearls.

Wedged amongst the eclectic shops of Swanbourne’s Claremont Crescent, Upperhand Burgers is an exciting new eatery for the beachy suburbs that is as conscientious and accessible as it is delicious